I've been to Panama Joe's three times and each time something horrible happened. At this point, if you have read any other entries you may have an idea that I enjoy an alcoholic beverage from time to time. Well, the second time I ventured into this establishment I had to wait in line for 20 minutes only to discover that half the bar was entirely empty. The other half was so full, though, I had to fight my way to the bar only to be ignored by the single, completely overwhelmed bartender. Four other staff members were hanging out by the door leading into the back, employee area, also not providing me with a drink.
As if this were not bad enough the third time I went there I didn't even make it in the building I only got as far as directly in front of the LONG line of fools waiting to get into the empty bar (why is there a wait to get into an empty room??). Anyway, I was already not impressed with the place from my prior visits and as I crankily walked towards the end of the LONG line, my heel twisted on a loose cobble stone and I fell. With nothing to catch myself on I fell right on my face and directly in the gutter. I wish I had the excuse that I was drunk, but alas, stone sober, I came tumbling down.
And finally, the very first time I went to Panama Joe's was soon after I moved to Orange County. My cousin and I paid the cover and made our way to the bar, our drinks were promptly delivered and we decided to survey the crowd from our bar stools before engaging in the sweaty dancing that was happening. From out of nowhere a jacket was thrown at me. It hit my chest, spilled my drink and landed in my lap. Appalled, I looked up to find the owner (and thrower) of the jacket approaching. He apologized, took the jacket and left. Five minutes later he did it again, hitting both of us this time. Well, I was less than impressed and threw the jacket on the floor. The owner once again approached us, took my cousins hand, apologized then brought her hand to his lips as if to kiss, and bit her. Yes, a stranger bit my cousin.
We both were shocked, mouths open in dismay. How does one justify this behavior, drunk or not? So I did what any demur young lady would and yelled at him, throwing my drink then grabbed him by the shirt and demanded to the bartender to kick the ass out. And do you know what the bartenders' reaction was? He laughed. So I said again, "this guy just bit my friend, he bit her, throw him out!" The bartender laughed again.
So I turned to the other bartender and repeated myself, this guys response was "oh yeah?" Complete and utter disregard for the crisis at hand! So I went in the other direction, still holding Mr. Bitey by the shirt, dragging him through the bar until I found another employee who was more helpful and had the guy thrown out.
However, my night was ruined and I vowed never to set foot in that establishment ever again. But wait, you say, that was the first of three times! Why did you return?? Well, that same cousin who was bit that night decided to give it a go on her birthday, after the place was under new ownership. I conceded that if she could return, the actual victim of the whole affair, then so could I.
But this time, I mean it, never again!
Enter at your own risk!
Panama Joe's
- 5100 E. 2nd St.
- Long Beach, CA 90803
- 562-434-7417
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